The jimjilbang

I've gotten really used to not understanding anything that happens around me. I don't even notice that I can't understand the students, teachers, etc. It's really easy to tune out what to me is essentially just gibberish, and I think it's going to be weird to go back home and suddenly hear and understand everything. For example, I just zone out when people are talking on their phones or whatever, but it will be harder once I get back home.

However, it will be nice when everyday things aren't so hard anymore. For example, last Friday. Celina and I went out to dinner, and we realized that we can only go to places we've already been, or places with pictures. Sometimes even pictures aren't good enough because you can't always tell if it's chicken or pork, spicy or not, etc. We ventured to an unknown restaurant and ended up with some delicious chicken, but it wasn't without a lot of second-guessing and blind jumping.

Then on Saturday I went to Daejeon to meet up with Kevin. Celina and I were supposed to go there in the day to do some shopping, but she wasn't feeling well so I hung around my apartment until 4:30 when I hopped the bus to Daejeon. It was definitely one of my worse bus rides... Korean drivers have that awful step on gas pedal, get up to speed, then release gas pedal approach. Also there was insane traffic, so the usual 1hr30min ride took two hours. When I got to the bus station, Kevin and his friend Carl still weren't there because they took a bus from Hongseong (where Carl lives) and apparently it was the bus ride from hell and took them 2hrs30mins. So anyway, I had about 40 minutes to kill before they showed up, so I decided to head downtown. I got in a cab and told the cabbie Timeworld Galleria, a big shopping center. He said okay, and then for some reason kept peppering me with questions in Korean no matter how many times I'd say, "Sorry, I don't understand. I don't speak Korean." It got kind of annoying, actually. This was what the "conversation" looked like:

Cabbie: blahblahblahstuffIcan'tunderstandblahblah chingu Galleria? (chingu is friend)
Me: Aniyo chingu. (trying to communicate that no, I am not meeting a friend at the Galleria)
Cabbie: blahblahblahblahblahblah.....
Me: Sorry, I don't speak Korean.
Cabbie: blabhblabhlabhalbhlablhbalbha
Me: .................
Cabbie: Chingu? Galleria?
Me: ANIYO CHINGU.
Cabbie: Home? Buyeo?
Me: Ne. (Yes.)
Cabbie: blahblahblahblah home Galleria blahblahblah.
Me: ?????
Cabbie: blahblahblah house Galleria?
Me: No, I don't have a home at the Galleria. I live in Buyeo.

Then he finally ceased and desisted with the questions. I just don't get it sometimes - I clearly can't answer you!

So finally I met up with Kevin and his friends, and we went to drop our stuff off at the jimjilbang. Now here's some real Korean culture for you. A jimjilbang is like a spa, and you pay like 6,000 won for 24 hours, and you get this change of clothes and a locker, and pretty much it's a giant bathhouse. Tons of hot tubs, steam rooms, saunas, massage chairs, etc. Very Asian. You can also spend the night at a jimjilbang, which is what our plan was because it's so cheap. However, you have to sleep on the floor in this giant community room. So the real kicker is that at the jimjilbang, everyone is completely naked. Now obviously they're gender-segregated, but still - this is a milestone in cultural immersion, in my opinion. I knew this going in, but I was still not fully prepared for the jimjilbang experience... by myself. Yes, I braved this experience solo because everyone I was with was a guy, which meant that we had to split up. We all checked in together and got our jimjilbang outfits (for when you're in the locker room), and then it was all, Okay we'll see you in 15 minutes for dinner! And bam, they were gone before I could ask any questions.

(For purposes of walking you through this point in my life, I'm going to switch to present tense. Makes you feel more like you're in the story.
Also, as you read this story, please remember that every time I am in the locker room area, I am surrounded by naked Korean women of all ages. So already I'm in a strange place where I can't communicate, am unsure of the social norms, and have no idea what proper procedure is. Now add lots of naked women to this situation.)

Let me lay down the setup of this situation.

So the jimjilbang is on the fourth floor of this huge shopping center building. There's the main desk where we paid, then there are two separate entrances for men and women to lead into the actual jimjilbang. When you walk through the entrance, there's small lockers with keys for you to put your shoes in. Then you walk around the corner and there's the actual clothes locker area and spa part. So there's a key for the shoes locker and then one for the clothes locker.

So I walk through the entrance, take off my shoes, put them in a locker, take the shoe locker key with me, then go up to the front desk. I have no idea what to do - drop my things off in a locker? Sure, sounds good. Do I just claim any clothes locker? Is this permanent? I get a clothes locker key from the lady at the desk and give her my receipt and the shoe locker key in exchange. I put my backpack in a clothes locker, then go back to the desk and questioningly look at the woman for help. She gives me the shoe locker key in exchange for my clothes locker key, I go and get my shoes, then as I'm trying to leave some old lady takes my shoe locker key and puts it back in the locker.

Hmm, how do I get back in? Now I've got no key of any kind and no receipt. This can't be good. I decided to walk outside and ask Chris and Jake what I'm supposed to do. Of course, I go out and no one's there. I decide to go back in and see what I'm supposed to do upon reentry while my face was still fresh in the lady's mind. I walk in and whoops, different woman working at the desk. She gives me a nasty look when I give her my shoe locker key in exchange for the clothes locker key and demands my ticket. "Uh, I already gave that other lady my ticket." This does not go over well as this woman's English is maxed out with the word "ticket." I go to my clothes locker, get out some mascara and put it on, then replace my belongings. I go back yet again to the woman to exchange my keys. Again, she gives me an awful look and throws the key at me.

I walk outside and Jake and Chris are there.
Me: So... how do I get back in?
Jake: Don't you have a key? *Shows shoe key.*
Me: Uh, no, some old lady made me put it back.
Jake: Oh, go get it. Or else how will you know which locker is yours?

This makes sense to me. I dart inside and grab the shoe key, then dash out before any more old ladies try and make me put it back. The jimjilbang is inside a huge mall area, so we walk around looking for food (Kevin and Carl were showering at the jimjilbang). We decide to leave and get food elsewhere, and I decide to put my coat away because I don't want to carry it all night. Uh oh - have to deal with the rude woman at the desk.

I go back, take off my boots, put them away, and attempt a shoe key/clothes locker key exchange. Massive fail. The woman looks super pissed off that I keep coming and going, and I realize she thinks I haven't paid because I never gave her a ticket. She makes me go outside to the main front desk whereupon the women working there confirm that yes, I have paid. They want to know if I lost my ticket. No, I gave a different lady my ticket. Where's my key? That rude woman has my key! She took it and didn't give me the locker key. Did you lose your key? NO, THAT WOMAN HAS IT.

Finally, the rude woman gestures for me to follow her back inside and finally gives me my locker key. I put my coat away and for the millionth time go back for another swap to reclaim my shoes. The lady totally loses it and starts hassling me in exasperated Korean, saying Why? Why? gesturing to my locker then the door, obviously wanting to know why I keep coming in and out but not actually using the jimjilbang. You know what, lady? If I want to use this place like a glorified locker, I will. Pipe down because I don't understand what you're saying and you're being ridiculous.

Then I just left and went for dinner.

(I now realize that old lady in the beginning of the story must have thought I was leaving the jimjilbang for good, not realizing that I was planning to come back later and sleep there, so that's why she wanted me to leave my key in the shoe locker. She was pretty nice about it, just trying to help the foreigner out.)

However, the jimjilbang experience is still not over. I ask the guys what to do about sleeping arrangements, and they said that you just grab a mat and pillow and sleep on the floor. Okay. Sleeping on the floor is not new to me in Korea. So we get back, I go into the women's side, search for a mat and pillow. Unsuccessful. Confused and tired, I decide to simply find a spot in the corner and go to sleep. The next day Kevin confronts me.

Kevin: Tree, where were you last night?
Me: Uh, sleeping?
Kevin: But you never made it to the sleeping room.
Me:.........
Kevin: I texted you!
Me: *checks phone, sees text* "in sleeping room"
Me: I just assumed you meant you had gotten to your side of the jimjilbang.
Kevin: No, Tree. There's a big room separate from the locker/spa area meant for sleeping. There's like a hundred people there! That's where the mats and pillows are.
Me:...........
Kevin: Did you just sleep in the locker room area?
Me: Um... yes?
Kevin: *Dies laughing*
Me: Not gonna lie, I was super confused as to why there weren't any mats, pillows, other people, etc! Chris and Jake told me you just grab a mat/pillow, no one said anything about a separate room...

So now I can never return to that jimjilbang as I am the crazy foreigner who didn't pay, treats it like a locker, and apparently sleeps on the floor like a homeless person.

Another day, another adventure.