The teacher becomes the student

So as you probably know, I'm taking a Korean class. I had a test on Monday, and so on Monday I needed some help with my homework as I didn't really understand what was going on. The Korean English teachers were busy, so I took my book upstairs after school to get my third graders to help me. It was really cute - a whole group of my boys took it upon themselves to check my homework and assure me that "Korean is so easy!" One of my boys actually borrowed my pen and circled all the right answers, x'ed the wrong ones, and then wrote "great" on one of my pages. They kept arguing with each other over what was best and how to best explain it, which was funny. I ended up getting a 14/15 on my test, so today I saw those boys and told them I got a good grade, and they told me I was a good student.

The stuff we just learned is the kind of thing I can write but will probably never be able to say in conversation. We learned how to say "therefore/in order to/because." I can't give it a direct translation. With every new Korean thing I learn I feel more sympathy towards my students and any Korean who tries to learn English. Also, I feel sympathy for myself because the two languages are just so incompatible. For example, my students were correcting a sentence, and they told me that it goes reason-place-verb. For example:
English
I'm going to the hospital because I'm sick.
Korean
Sick therefore hospital to the go.

Also, the word therefore changes spelling depending on which verb you use. This is why I will never be able to speak it... I can't change the verbs around fast enough in my head. Though on the upside, you actually attach words together which gives you clues as to which part of speech it is, i.e.
Sicktherefore hospitaltothe go.

So sick and therefore are combined and hospital to the is combined, so then you definitely know it's the object, and the verb is always at the end so you always know where it is. Handy, right?


Unfortunately, today some of my students were awful. Second grade low level boys. It's funny to look into the psyche of a 15 year old... everything is "unfair" to them. It's even worse though because we can't communicate well. I had warned the students a long time ago that if they're late to my class three times, they have to come in during lunch and do homework. I've been enforcing it too, and several students from this particular class have already have to do it. It was funny because two boys that had to do this punishment were two of the few who were on time, and they were like, "Teacher! Students, lunchtime, homework?"

Anyway, four of my boys showed up late because apparently they were looking for their books. I didn't think this was a good excuse, so I marked them late and they had to stand in the back (standard Korean punishment). And boy did they act horribly. So after class I had them come to the front so I could write down their names and tell them about their homework, and one of them started bellowing in that awful whiny voice that kids have, and I can only assume he was going on about how I wasn't listening to him. The Korean English teacher came over to help, and she said he was complaining that he wasn't late because someone had stolen his book and he was looking for it and it wasn't fair that he had to do homework, and so I told her to tell him that he'd been late two times already and I doubted his book had been stolen every time. I tell you, he had the worst belligerent attitude I've seen yet. I've got a girl just like him as well. It's annoying because when they get that bad, I just want them out of my sight and have nothing to do with them, but of course I have to hunt them down because they will "forget" to come in during lunchtime, then they give me their snotty looks when I come get them. It drives me extra bonkers because they like to pretend it's because they don't understand me, but in my opinion, that's not an excuse. Every word I use to explain the homework situation is a word I know in Korean, so I'll say the English word and wait for them to supply the Korean, so I know that they know. It gave me a headache is what I'm saying.

On the plus side, I'm going to the Lady Gaga concert this Friday!

Also, in that same class with the bad students, one of my boys came up to my desk before class to ask, "Miss Tay-lay-sa, how are you?" "I'm great, Subeom. How are you?" "I'm fine, thank you!" Miss Tay-lay-sa! How cute.

Bad weather blues

So on Friday night I was packed and ready to go for my 5K and concert on Saturday. I had to teach some Saturday classes (extra classes for gifted students), and I had a plan of attack for getting from school to the 5K. Then as I was about to fall asleep, didn't I get a phone call from my friend Jason who was the point man on operation runcert. He said he'd gotten a text from the organization and they were cancelling the whole thing on account of the weather. I couldn't believe it! I was so disappointed. So to sum it up, it was really and truly cancelled and all my weekend plans, including my first 5K and a free concert, were blown.

Instead I ended up going into Seoul to meet my friend Hannah, who had already bought a ticket because she was headed this way for the run and concert. We got lunch and bought some accessories for the Lady Gaga concert this Friday.

Speaking of Lady Gaga, did you know she has these freaky bones in her face and shoulders now? She looks eerily like an alien from Star Trek. I'm vaguely terrified to see her in person now.

I had my gifted 1st and 2nd grade classes on Saturday, and it's crazy how smart the first graders are. They are LOUD and participative (that's not actually a word) and really good at English.

Runcert

My 5K is on Saturday. Yesterday I ran for 20 minutes without walking, so I'm feeling pretty good about the 5K. Granted, I was moving pretty slowly and bet I only did like a mile and a half, but whatever - it was a good pace and I felt like I could have kept going. The event is called a "runcert" - run + concert. I like it.

I've been doing my second grade NEAT class for the past two weeks, and some of my students were also in my winter English camp. I love the second grade NEAT students, possibly even more than the third grade. This is probably because the second graders are much more animated. The boys in particular - I kind of want to adopt some of them. On the other end of the spectrum, I was really dragging today. The first graders are just so poorly behaved. They never want to be quiet or pay attention, and I've tried so many approaches - carrot, stick, punishment, cajoling, joking, threatening... they all only work temporarily. It's exhausting. Because I've been punishing late students with lunchtime writing assignments, my lunchtime has cut down to about 15 minutes a day. I'm usually late to lunch because of disciplining students who were misbehaving in class, and then I eat my lunch in about 10 minutes, then fill up my water bottle and go to various classrooms to hunt down the homework students because they either forget to come to the English classroom or just blow it off. I've even tried sending their homeroom teachers messages to send the students to my classroom, but either the teachers forget or the kids just don't go. I've found the best way is just to personally track them down then lead them to the classroom. Today I brought two first grade girls in, and while I was setting up the movie to show the rest of the kids, she slipped out after only completing about a fifth of the assignment. Because I have to supervise the lunchtime movies, I couldn't exactly start running around my five story school searching for a student. The upside is that I've noticed a definite trend in the students that I force to do their homework. It has really cut down on their tardiness.

I've also started a teachers' English conversation club. We had our first meeting on Wednesday. It's supposed to be six female teachers and one male teacher, but we only had four show up. One is the aforementioned hanja teacher, who is actually quite a nice guy, just a bit on the odd side. I still haven't read that book he gave me, which I should because I should really return it. I just don't feel like reading it though. The teachers' class was good though.

Today was the first day I didn't wear a jacket to school.

It's been one month and four days since I've twisted my hair. Does my hair look any different? Sadly, I don't think so.

Strawberry festival

Not much to report. I went to the Nonsan strawberry festival on Saturday. Lots of strawberries, as you might imagine. I did my 5K training yesterday and today. The race is this Saturday. 

Today was a really nice spring day. The cherry blossoms are blooming, so I took a walk around this river I found. 

I started my NEAT class for the second grade this past week. They are so great. They're very enthusiastic and willing to participate, and they think I'm hilarious. I told them cell phones weren't allowed and if I saw any, I would sell them on Gmarket (Korean Amazon). They laughed for about five minutes straight. 

Last Tuesday I went out for dinner and drinks with some of the other teachers. It was the "20s-30s club." There were about eight teachers altogether, four female and four male. I actually had a really great time - we ate pork barbecue for dinner, and then pig skin. Apparently it has a lot of collagen and is therefore good for our skin. It wasn't too bad actually. It had the consistency of Swedish fish but was incredibly spicy.

Then we went next door to a bar for some beer and soju. We even played some Korean drinking games, both of which involved chopsticks. In the first one, a person says something like, Who was a chatterbox in middle school? and then we go one, two, three and point our chopstick to the person we think is the best answer. Whoever has the most chopsticks pointed at them has to drink. Then we did one where we point our chopsticks at a random person and one designated person says a random number, then they count off in succession of whoever the chopsticks point to, and whoever is the last person has to take a drink. The teachers  really rolled with laughter when I could understand the instructions for the second game but the math teacher didn't get it. The female gym teacher translated the questions in the previous game for me. I'm getting better at understanding, but I still don't really know what's going on at dinner conversations. I just don't know enough words. Also, we had chicken feet as appetizers with our drinks. Awful. 

Then on Thursday I went out to dinner with the science teachers because I teach extra gifted and talented classes that are run through the science department. This dinner was pretty dull, but then we went for coffee after and that was more fun. Three of the teachers had been at the 20s-30s dinner, and so they had a great time recounting stories that mostly involved teasing the math teacher. Then one of the technology teachers told a story that I actually understood! It was so exciting. Basically, he saw this foreigner and an old man, and the foreigner dropped some trash on the ground, so the old man wanted him to pick it up, but I guess he didn't speak any English, so he just pointed at it and was like, Yo... yo...YO! Haha. 

I might have mentioned that we have a soldier at our school acting as a public servant. He's like 27 or so I think, and I feel bad for him because he seems to be terribly shy. At dinner they were like, say something! He and I took the metro part of the way back together, so I asked him if he liked our school, and he was like, Honestly... no. Poor guy. I think he's just very uncomfortable. 

Happy Easter!

Yesterday I had dinner with my two coteachers Hyejeong and Yeonjin and one of our former teachers, Mrs. Park. We went to VIPS, which is this Western-style buffet. I think it's a chain in England but I'm not sure. Regardless, we got there at about 5:15 and didn't leave until 10:30. It was ridiculous. We finished eating around 6:30 but then sat around chatting until like 10:30. A lot of the time Mrs. Park and Hyejeong were discussing textbooks and Yeonjin and I were chatting about whatever. Mrs. Park doesn't like her new school very much. She says the students have bad behavior and she misses the Taepyeong Middle School students. She said her students go to hagwons a lot so they're burned out in the daytime and are really tired and uncooperative. She said the other day a student demanded that Mrs. Park get a tissue off her desk and bring it to him!

My legs are kind of sore from the running on Thursday.  I was supposed to run again yesterday but because of the VIPS thing it was too late, so I'm going today.

Happy Easter!

Getting fit the Kpop way

My friends found out there's a 5K in Incheon (city near Seoul where the international airport is) April 21st, and get this: it's accompanied by a free Kpop concert! Yes! 2ne1, T-ara, Seven... I love 2ne1. So yes, I have signed up for it. I was really iffy and basically had backed out due to short notice, but then decided to go for it. My friends were like, Do one of those couch-to-5K things! So I looked it up and yeah, it's definitely a two month program. I thought it could be done in a month and I was like, Well I've got 2.5 weeks, I could get close to a full 5K. Wrong. That's when I was on the verge of saying count me out, then my friend pretty much bullied me into it.

I printed off the two month plan and perused it to see what my best options were for the 14 days I have to prepare. I decided to skip weeks 1-3 and go directly to 4 as I didn't think it looked that challenging. Each week has three workouts, so I'll be able to finish (hopefully) weeks 4, 5, and 6 before the 5K. In week 6 you should be able to run a mile, walk a bit, then run another. I figured two miles would be a good start for a 5K. Possibly this will turn out to be horrendously incorrect, but I didn't want to go too hard too soon and hurt myself or get insanely discouraged, so whatever. Free Kpop concert, here I come! Walking probably, but coming nonetheless.

I had my last test prep class with my third graders. One came up to my coteacher during the day when we were sitting at our desks to ask if it was the last class, and when she found out it was, apparently she was sad and asked if we could have more. How cute. I really like those students. Today before class I was asking two boys how they were.

Me: How are you?
Minhaeng: Can't complain.
Dongjun: I'm very good.
Me: Why?
Dongjun: I got a B on my singing test today.
Minhaeng (agitated): Ah! Teacher! I am very upset!!
Me: Why?
Minhaeng: Aaahh! I got a C on my singing test today!
Dongjun: *cackles*
Minhaeng: Ugh! I have gotten A's since the second grade, but now a C!
Me: Why, what happened?
Minhaeng: I was so nervous.
Dongjun: He was nervous because many people were watching.
Minhaeng: Yes, and many prior people got C's so I was very nervous.
Dongjun: Yes, I was not nervous so my voice was like this *does hand motion to indicate good notes* but Minhaeng was like this *does hand motion to indicate off-key*
Minhaeng: Aaaahh! So upset! I am a better singer than Dongjun. Everyone knows!
Me: Why don't we have a singing competition in class, then we can find out?
Boys: *Laughing hysterically* No, no!

Those students are so cute. They even laugh at my jokes!

There are a bunch of student teachers lurking about at my school. One dropped in on a third grade class to observe, and frankly it wasn't a class I would have chosen to show off. One, we were doing a review. Two, it was a B class and therefore very quiet. Three, we reviewed then played a game so it wasn't the showiest class. It's not a big deal though. He was going to come by a first grade B class but then things got switched, and the first grade B class was one of my worst as far as the kids running amok, so I guess that's good.

My late policy is if the students are late three times, they have to do homework. It's dull - I have worksheets with English verbs that they have to look up in the dictionary and then write multiple times. Very dry stuff. I had to hunt down one of my boys and he sat in on my test prep class and wrote his homework. Halfway through he called me over...

Doseong: Teacher, finish. Headache.
Me: You're only halfway done. You're not finished.
Doseong: (mournful sigh as though his life is literally draining away) Ahh noooo, headache.
Me: Well, Doseong, I get a headache when you're late to class. This seems only fair to me.

Last night I had trivia night per usual. After the game finishes, there's always an individual question. This week's was, "What book series is the TV show Game of Thrones based on, and who is the author?" Well thanks, George R.R. Martin and A Song of Ice and Fire because I am now the proud owner of an extra 90,000won! I started reading those books in Korea and they have now paid for themselves plus some. A fine Wednesday win.

Immaturity: no longer restricted to children

Video game English is to Korean kids what Kpop song Korean is to me. That is, I know random assorted words courtesy of Kpop songs. Big Bang has taught me how to say liar, day, and frozen while 2ne1 has taught me how to say I am the best, clap your hands, everyone, and like this. Likewise, my students use video game English to assist them. Notably, when they want to say they're finished or something has ended, frequently I'l hear "game over!" or "the end." A few days ago this conversation happened:

Me: Are you finished?
Girl student: Uhm.... mission accomplished!

I was informed today I have an orientation/training for five days at the end of April. I sure hope that like the last orientation I had (three months into my first contract), they teach me how to make a good first impression... seven months too late. I'm also glad for the networking opportunity... seven months late. Sigh.

Kevin has left Korea as of last Thursday. He's going to Vietnam to do his CELTA course (an ESL teaching thing) and will be coming back in May or June, thankfully. I already miss him - I didn't know who to call with the crucial question of what pastry to buy for a Korean teacher. How will I receive my cutting edge Kpop updates?

My friend Robin also left. Replacing him on our trivia team is going to be difficult. He handled sports and geography like a champ. We're going to get beat by this one team of mostly middle-aged people because they are highly literate and know geography plus they listen to all the (crap) music that's always involved in our audio challenges. No, I don't mean oldies, I mean like Radiohead and Led Zeppelin and stuff that I would literally never be able to recognize.

My friends Margo and Sunelle have left as well.  I went to their going away party on Saturday. It was rainbow themed, so I wore a pink wig and my Korean fashion glasses. I thought this was a costume; people thought I was a hipster. Some people actually thought it was my real hair.


One of my girls had a Big Bang folder and had doodled the names of all the members in her notebook. I asked her who her favorite was and she said Daesung. What?! Since when is Daesung ANYONE'S favorite? Props for nonconformity, but the correct answers for members of Big Bang in order of attractiveness is:

1. Top
2. Taeyang
3. Seungri

G-Dragon and Daesung don't even make my list. However, Koreans go nuts for G-Dragon, plus he is super swag and cool so I would have accepted him as an answer. But Daesung? Get some better taste, girl!
I berated a group of A level students today for having awful manners and not focusing. I've never raised my voice to a class like that before, but my Monday classes were the worst and I was sick of the students acting like brats. The first graders need a serious attitude check, and I will keep them ten minutes late to lunch. Should have circled the answers when I told you to. I was also amused by the whining when they had to clean the classroom... I warned you to bring your books or else.

I had my Korean class tonight. I feel like I'm making a lot of progress because I'm kind of reviewing, but I feel like it's really sticking this time. This class came on the heels of my rough Monday, so I wasn't in the best mood. The class was very crowded, but I got there early so I got a good seat (crowded = like 30 people). In case I haven't mentioned this before, this is a free class taught by a volunteer organization who just wants to help foreigners learn about Korea, Korean, and Korean culture. Therefore, everyone who works there is a volunteer. They teach the classes all in Korean, not to mention not everyone there is a native English speaker (or an English speaker at all). There are a lot of international students in my class. Basically, I find roughly 40% of the people in the class to be annoying and four people in particular to be atrocious to the point where I want to say something to them. Let me explain.

Today was the first day of my second beginner class, so naturally the teacher (who does a good job, incidentally) had us all introduce ourselves. Hi, I'm Theresa. I'm from America. I'm an English teacher. Nice to meet you. Four sentences, and if you don't understand them you really shouldn't be in this class, let's get real. Immediately this girl in front of me (who was in my previous class and was extraordinarily irritating there as well), said in this loud, nasally voice, "What's a jikeob?" It's a job. If you don't know what it means, there's always the quiet, unobtrustive option of asking the person next to you, or hey I don't know, raising your hand and asking the teacher in Korean, "Jikeob muohaeyo?" (What is "jikeob?") I'm sure the teacher could list some jobs and you could get it. Pretty much people in my class are annoying because they are always asking our teachers (we have a main teacher and several helpers) long, complicated questions in English. Uh, our teachers are Korean. This is a Korean class. If you don't understand, maybe you should ask in Korean. We're not exactly learning complex grammar here, and I consider it unforgivably rude to demand English answers from these volunteers who are supposed to be teaching in all Korean. Engage your brain, use your smartphone to translate, do something reasonably intelligent and logical to deduce the answer.

So we were introducing ourselves, and these two girls near me were chatting and giggling. Oh, I'm sorry, are our self-introductions interrupting girl time? I didn't leave my middle school to hang out with more adolescents. I was under the impression that this was an adult class, so if you don't know what it means to be a respectful adult for two hours in a class taught by volunteers, maybe you should get out before I verbally throw you out. I was honestly THIS CLOSE to saying something, but I didn't want to cause more of a disturbance. Then during class we could hear the class next door laughing, and those girls said, "It sounds like they're having a party next door. This class is so boring." I was really seeing red at this point because they were also complaining about how they didn't understand stuff, and I was like MAYBE BECAUSE YOU'RE MORONS WHO AREN'T PAYING ATTENTION. I mean, how rude. How disrespectful. I didn't realize our teacher was giving up her free time to entertain us. I forgot "make class fun" was probably in her job description. You know, the job she's not getting paid for.

Next, a girl behind me was asking a question (in English, fabulous) to one of the assistant teachers. The teacher answered, and the girl got it, but then I guess the teacher kept explaining and the girl got a bit snotty and was like, Okay it's okay, I get it. I understand. No problem. Then the assistant teacher left to help someone else, and that girl started whining to the person next to her, "I don't know why she kept trying to explain. I mean, obviously I got it. I just had that one question and then I understood." You're so right, obnoxious girl behind me. How dare that lady try and help you understand. How offensive and irritating that she give you extra one-on-one time because she thought you had a question. Good thing she doesn't speak English very well so you can feel free to make dismissive remarks.

I tell you, much more of these idiots and I'm going to get myself kicked out of class when I lay into them. Keep you posted.

On the upside, I got two hugs today and about 12 "I love you's" from various students. One "I love you so much" as well.


Also, it's been 14 days since I twisted my hair.