Strawberry festival

Not much to report. I went to the Nonsan strawberry festival on Saturday. Lots of strawberries, as you might imagine. I did my 5K training yesterday and today. The race is this Saturday. 

Today was a really nice spring day. The cherry blossoms are blooming, so I took a walk around this river I found. 

I started my NEAT class for the second grade this past week. They are so great. They're very enthusiastic and willing to participate, and they think I'm hilarious. I told them cell phones weren't allowed and if I saw any, I would sell them on Gmarket (Korean Amazon). They laughed for about five minutes straight. 

Last Tuesday I went out for dinner and drinks with some of the other teachers. It was the "20s-30s club." There were about eight teachers altogether, four female and four male. I actually had a really great time - we ate pork barbecue for dinner, and then pig skin. Apparently it has a lot of collagen and is therefore good for our skin. It wasn't too bad actually. It had the consistency of Swedish fish but was incredibly spicy.

Then we went next door to a bar for some beer and soju. We even played some Korean drinking games, both of which involved chopsticks. In the first one, a person says something like, Who was a chatterbox in middle school? and then we go one, two, three and point our chopstick to the person we think is the best answer. Whoever has the most chopsticks pointed at them has to drink. Then we did one where we point our chopsticks at a random person and one designated person says a random number, then they count off in succession of whoever the chopsticks point to, and whoever is the last person has to take a drink. The teachers  really rolled with laughter when I could understand the instructions for the second game but the math teacher didn't get it. The female gym teacher translated the questions in the previous game for me. I'm getting better at understanding, but I still don't really know what's going on at dinner conversations. I just don't know enough words. Also, we had chicken feet as appetizers with our drinks. Awful. 

Then on Thursday I went out to dinner with the science teachers because I teach extra gifted and talented classes that are run through the science department. This dinner was pretty dull, but then we went for coffee after and that was more fun. Three of the teachers had been at the 20s-30s dinner, and so they had a great time recounting stories that mostly involved teasing the math teacher. Then one of the technology teachers told a story that I actually understood! It was so exciting. Basically, he saw this foreigner and an old man, and the foreigner dropped some trash on the ground, so the old man wanted him to pick it up, but I guess he didn't speak any English, so he just pointed at it and was like, Yo... yo...YO! Haha. 

I might have mentioned that we have a soldier at our school acting as a public servant. He's like 27 or so I think, and I feel bad for him because he seems to be terribly shy. At dinner they were like, say something! He and I took the metro part of the way back together, so I asked him if he liked our school, and he was like, Honestly... no. Poor guy. I think he's just very uncomfortable. 

Happy Easter!

Yesterday I had dinner with my two coteachers Hyejeong and Yeonjin and one of our former teachers, Mrs. Park. We went to VIPS, which is this Western-style buffet. I think it's a chain in England but I'm not sure. Regardless, we got there at about 5:15 and didn't leave until 10:30. It was ridiculous. We finished eating around 6:30 but then sat around chatting until like 10:30. A lot of the time Mrs. Park and Hyejeong were discussing textbooks and Yeonjin and I were chatting about whatever. Mrs. Park doesn't like her new school very much. She says the students have bad behavior and she misses the Taepyeong Middle School students. She said her students go to hagwons a lot so they're burned out in the daytime and are really tired and uncooperative. She said the other day a student demanded that Mrs. Park get a tissue off her desk and bring it to him!

My legs are kind of sore from the running on Thursday.  I was supposed to run again yesterday but because of the VIPS thing it was too late, so I'm going today.

Happy Easter!

Getting fit the Kpop way

My friends found out there's a 5K in Incheon (city near Seoul where the international airport is) April 21st, and get this: it's accompanied by a free Kpop concert! Yes! 2ne1, T-ara, Seven... I love 2ne1. So yes, I have signed up for it. I was really iffy and basically had backed out due to short notice, but then decided to go for it. My friends were like, Do one of those couch-to-5K things! So I looked it up and yeah, it's definitely a two month program. I thought it could be done in a month and I was like, Well I've got 2.5 weeks, I could get close to a full 5K. Wrong. That's when I was on the verge of saying count me out, then my friend pretty much bullied me into it.

I printed off the two month plan and perused it to see what my best options were for the 14 days I have to prepare. I decided to skip weeks 1-3 and go directly to 4 as I didn't think it looked that challenging. Each week has three workouts, so I'll be able to finish (hopefully) weeks 4, 5, and 6 before the 5K. In week 6 you should be able to run a mile, walk a bit, then run another. I figured two miles would be a good start for a 5K. Possibly this will turn out to be horrendously incorrect, but I didn't want to go too hard too soon and hurt myself or get insanely discouraged, so whatever. Free Kpop concert, here I come! Walking probably, but coming nonetheless.

I had my last test prep class with my third graders. One came up to my coteacher during the day when we were sitting at our desks to ask if it was the last class, and when she found out it was, apparently she was sad and asked if we could have more. How cute. I really like those students. Today before class I was asking two boys how they were.

Me: How are you?
Minhaeng: Can't complain.
Dongjun: I'm very good.
Me: Why?
Dongjun: I got a B on my singing test today.
Minhaeng (agitated): Ah! Teacher! I am very upset!!
Me: Why?
Minhaeng: Aaahh! I got a C on my singing test today!
Dongjun: *cackles*
Minhaeng: Ugh! I have gotten A's since the second grade, but now a C!
Me: Why, what happened?
Minhaeng: I was so nervous.
Dongjun: He was nervous because many people were watching.
Minhaeng: Yes, and many prior people got C's so I was very nervous.
Dongjun: Yes, I was not nervous so my voice was like this *does hand motion to indicate good notes* but Minhaeng was like this *does hand motion to indicate off-key*
Minhaeng: Aaaahh! So upset! I am a better singer than Dongjun. Everyone knows!
Me: Why don't we have a singing competition in class, then we can find out?
Boys: *Laughing hysterically* No, no!

Those students are so cute. They even laugh at my jokes!

There are a bunch of student teachers lurking about at my school. One dropped in on a third grade class to observe, and frankly it wasn't a class I would have chosen to show off. One, we were doing a review. Two, it was a B class and therefore very quiet. Three, we reviewed then played a game so it wasn't the showiest class. It's not a big deal though. He was going to come by a first grade B class but then things got switched, and the first grade B class was one of my worst as far as the kids running amok, so I guess that's good.

My late policy is if the students are late three times, they have to do homework. It's dull - I have worksheets with English verbs that they have to look up in the dictionary and then write multiple times. Very dry stuff. I had to hunt down one of my boys and he sat in on my test prep class and wrote his homework. Halfway through he called me over...

Doseong: Teacher, finish. Headache.
Me: You're only halfway done. You're not finished.
Doseong: (mournful sigh as though his life is literally draining away) Ahh noooo, headache.
Me: Well, Doseong, I get a headache when you're late to class. This seems only fair to me.

Last night I had trivia night per usual. After the game finishes, there's always an individual question. This week's was, "What book series is the TV show Game of Thrones based on, and who is the author?" Well thanks, George R.R. Martin and A Song of Ice and Fire because I am now the proud owner of an extra 90,000won! I started reading those books in Korea and they have now paid for themselves plus some. A fine Wednesday win.

Immaturity: no longer restricted to children

Video game English is to Korean kids what Kpop song Korean is to me. That is, I know random assorted words courtesy of Kpop songs. Big Bang has taught me how to say liar, day, and frozen while 2ne1 has taught me how to say I am the best, clap your hands, everyone, and like this. Likewise, my students use video game English to assist them. Notably, when they want to say they're finished or something has ended, frequently I'l hear "game over!" or "the end." A few days ago this conversation happened:

Me: Are you finished?
Girl student: Uhm.... mission accomplished!

I was informed today I have an orientation/training for five days at the end of April. I sure hope that like the last orientation I had (three months into my first contract), they teach me how to make a good first impression... seven months too late. I'm also glad for the networking opportunity... seven months late. Sigh.

Kevin has left Korea as of last Thursday. He's going to Vietnam to do his CELTA course (an ESL teaching thing) and will be coming back in May or June, thankfully. I already miss him - I didn't know who to call with the crucial question of what pastry to buy for a Korean teacher. How will I receive my cutting edge Kpop updates?

My friend Robin also left. Replacing him on our trivia team is going to be difficult. He handled sports and geography like a champ. We're going to get beat by this one team of mostly middle-aged people because they are highly literate and know geography plus they listen to all the (crap) music that's always involved in our audio challenges. No, I don't mean oldies, I mean like Radiohead and Led Zeppelin and stuff that I would literally never be able to recognize.

My friends Margo and Sunelle have left as well.  I went to their going away party on Saturday. It was rainbow themed, so I wore a pink wig and my Korean fashion glasses. I thought this was a costume; people thought I was a hipster. Some people actually thought it was my real hair.


One of my girls had a Big Bang folder and had doodled the names of all the members in her notebook. I asked her who her favorite was and she said Daesung. What?! Since when is Daesung ANYONE'S favorite? Props for nonconformity, but the correct answers for members of Big Bang in order of attractiveness is:

1. Top
2. Taeyang
3. Seungri

G-Dragon and Daesung don't even make my list. However, Koreans go nuts for G-Dragon, plus he is super swag and cool so I would have accepted him as an answer. But Daesung? Get some better taste, girl!
I berated a group of A level students today for having awful manners and not focusing. I've never raised my voice to a class like that before, but my Monday classes were the worst and I was sick of the students acting like brats. The first graders need a serious attitude check, and I will keep them ten minutes late to lunch. Should have circled the answers when I told you to. I was also amused by the whining when they had to clean the classroom... I warned you to bring your books or else.

I had my Korean class tonight. I feel like I'm making a lot of progress because I'm kind of reviewing, but I feel like it's really sticking this time. This class came on the heels of my rough Monday, so I wasn't in the best mood. The class was very crowded, but I got there early so I got a good seat (crowded = like 30 people). In case I haven't mentioned this before, this is a free class taught by a volunteer organization who just wants to help foreigners learn about Korea, Korean, and Korean culture. Therefore, everyone who works there is a volunteer. They teach the classes all in Korean, not to mention not everyone there is a native English speaker (or an English speaker at all). There are a lot of international students in my class. Basically, I find roughly 40% of the people in the class to be annoying and four people in particular to be atrocious to the point where I want to say something to them. Let me explain.

Today was the first day of my second beginner class, so naturally the teacher (who does a good job, incidentally) had us all introduce ourselves. Hi, I'm Theresa. I'm from America. I'm an English teacher. Nice to meet you. Four sentences, and if you don't understand them you really shouldn't be in this class, let's get real. Immediately this girl in front of me (who was in my previous class and was extraordinarily irritating there as well), said in this loud, nasally voice, "What's a jikeob?" It's a job. If you don't know what it means, there's always the quiet, unobtrustive option of asking the person next to you, or hey I don't know, raising your hand and asking the teacher in Korean, "Jikeob muohaeyo?" (What is "jikeob?") I'm sure the teacher could list some jobs and you could get it. Pretty much people in my class are annoying because they are always asking our teachers (we have a main teacher and several helpers) long, complicated questions in English. Uh, our teachers are Korean. This is a Korean class. If you don't understand, maybe you should ask in Korean. We're not exactly learning complex grammar here, and I consider it unforgivably rude to demand English answers from these volunteers who are supposed to be teaching in all Korean. Engage your brain, use your smartphone to translate, do something reasonably intelligent and logical to deduce the answer.

So we were introducing ourselves, and these two girls near me were chatting and giggling. Oh, I'm sorry, are our self-introductions interrupting girl time? I didn't leave my middle school to hang out with more adolescents. I was under the impression that this was an adult class, so if you don't know what it means to be a respectful adult for two hours in a class taught by volunteers, maybe you should get out before I verbally throw you out. I was honestly THIS CLOSE to saying something, but I didn't want to cause more of a disturbance. Then during class we could hear the class next door laughing, and those girls said, "It sounds like they're having a party next door. This class is so boring." I was really seeing red at this point because they were also complaining about how they didn't understand stuff, and I was like MAYBE BECAUSE YOU'RE MORONS WHO AREN'T PAYING ATTENTION. I mean, how rude. How disrespectful. I didn't realize our teacher was giving up her free time to entertain us. I forgot "make class fun" was probably in her job description. You know, the job she's not getting paid for.

Next, a girl behind me was asking a question (in English, fabulous) to one of the assistant teachers. The teacher answered, and the girl got it, but then I guess the teacher kept explaining and the girl got a bit snotty and was like, Okay it's okay, I get it. I understand. No problem. Then the assistant teacher left to help someone else, and that girl started whining to the person next to her, "I don't know why she kept trying to explain. I mean, obviously I got it. I just had that one question and then I understood." You're so right, obnoxious girl behind me. How dare that lady try and help you understand. How offensive and irritating that she give you extra one-on-one time because she thought you had a question. Good thing she doesn't speak English very well so you can feel free to make dismissive remarks.

I tell you, much more of these idiots and I'm going to get myself kicked out of class when I lay into them. Keep you posted.

On the upside, I got two hugs today and about 12 "I love you's" from various students. One "I love you so much" as well.


Also, it's been 14 days since I twisted my hair.

Dad is coming!

So today I have learned that my dad is coming to Korea in July! How exciting is that? I'm going to have to start planning ASAP to make sure we only do the most exciting things. He'll be eating kimchi like a champ in no time, right Dad?

In other news...

Some of my students still look at me as though they've never seen a foreigner before, which of course is not true. Yesterday I was helping one of my second grade boys, and as I leaned over to write something in his book, one of my boys decided to tentatively reach out and stroke my hair and ask, "Teacher, gold hair is real?"

Another one of my first grade girls is irrationally obsessed with me. In between classes she's always peering through my door and waving. She finds me in the hallways and in my office all the time and asks me simple questions like, Do you like pudding? Do you like spring? I like spring. This happens roughly ten times a day. She's also constantly restraining herself from reaching out and touching me, though she'll usually sneak a quick touch on my ring or hand as though she just can't help herself. I find it pretty amusing, though the incessant questions are a bit much when I'm trying to move quickly from my office to the classroom or whatever.

The informatics teacher (who is in charge of scheduling) gave me a year long English schedule. He is so nice! I felt pretty bad about making him do extra work. I specifically said he didn't need to translate it, but maybe that bit got lost in translation. I'm going to see about buying him some kimbap or something as a thank you present.

I was really happy today because I was teaching my second graders something, and I explained what I wanted them to do then told them to start. Then I walked around to the group tables and asked them if they understood, and they actually said no. I was so pleased because usually they won't admit it and just say yes so I go away, then they sit around and don't work. So then I reexplained and they got it, and it was great.

On Monday I had five classes, and they were possibly the worst string of classes I've ever had at this school. The students just refused to focus and were acting like complete brats. My head teacher, Hyejeong, who is a great teacher and a lovely person, is my coteacher for the worst behaved class that I have. She always has excellent control of her classes, but she's also a nice teacher. Strict, but funny and energetic. Anyway, our class was late, they didn't have their books, and they had no desire to focus. She actually asked me to step out of the room for a minute because she wanted to talk to the students. The teacher I replaced said that happened to her once, so I figured Hyejeong wanted to discipline the students. I waited outside, and I could hear her yelling at the students. I was scared, and I wasn't even in the room! It's nice when my coteachers take charge because it's pretty hard for me to discipline the students because they can't understand me that well. They don't know what the words "focus" or "concentrate" mean, and even though I know it in Korean, my Korean is unintentionally funny (foreigner and all) so it kind of diminishes the effect.

Hyejeong's last name is Oh, and in Korean it's last name first, then first name. Once I brought it up to Hyejeong that her name is a bit Abbott and Costello (I didn't mention that in particular), but I was saying how it's funny because when I want her attention, sometimes I'll say, Oh, Hyejeong, do you have a minute? And it's funny because the other teachers will go up to her and say, Oh Hyejeong Teacher... She thought it was funny.

Lastly, there are apparently teachers' clubs at my school. One is a barista/chocolate making club run by the science teacher, one is some club that I don't know what it is, and one is a photography club run by the art teacher (I think he's the art teacher. He's definitely a third grade teacher.). Anyway, so today Hyejeong was like, Theresa, we have teachers' clubs... Are you interested in joining? I was like, Sure! I'd really like to be in the photography club, actually. Do you think it's okay that I don't speak Korean? She was like, Sure I don't see why not. I'll send a message to the art teacher.

That's how I found out that the "photography club" is actually just a clever ruse in which all the male teachers in the school are in this "club" that never meets to learn photography, but does meet occasionally to booze and chat. Yep, that sounds Korean all right! I'm now in the "club" but I don't know how this is going to go. I told them just to let me know if they ever actually meet for photography. I wanted to be in the barista club but it was full. They sent out a message and I'm fully in the "photography club," but I'm pretty sure one of our female gym teachers is in it too, so I don't feel as awkward.

I passed my Korean test on Monday! It was kind of a review class for me, but it was good because now I feel like I really know that stuff.

It's been nine days since I twisted my hair.

Flushed with victory

Three major victories today.

One - my team won trivia... again. Basically, we are awesome. I love winning because you get money for it, which means that I get to eat a burger and drink a beer for free. And that is great. I was especially glad we won because my team didn't listen to my opinion on two answers which turned out to be correct. One was, "Who was People magazine's most recent Sexiest Man Alive?" and the answer was Bradley Cooper, but my team thought he was the winner several years ago, so they went with Ryan Reynolds. I said he wasn't famous enough, and the answer turned out to be Bradley Cooper. The other one was something about a 6'6" inventor who was one of the most brilliant men ever reportedly died a virgin due to taking a vow of celibacy, and I suggested Tesla (honestly, for lack of a better answer), and I forgot who we went with but the answer was definitely Tesla. Regardless, we won so no harm no foul.

Two - today I glared a class of unruly 15 year olds into silence in less than five seconds. A new record. It was fantastic... they were supposed to be practicing their English self-introductions and then reciting them to the teachers one by one, and instead they were screwing around. When I couldn't hear the boy trying to introduce himself to me, I gave Superman laser vision to the rest of the class (I wasn't even standing at the front) and they shut up immediately. I didn't even have to say anything. It was magical.

Three - I haven't twisted my hair since Sunday night.

Breaking the habit

This weekend, I didn't do much. I mostly stayed in on Saturday and Sunday and bummed around watching TV and reading books. Therefore, if you know me (and I assume you do, or else why are you reading my blog? Begone, stranger!), you know I was probably twisting my hair a lot. On Monday as I was styling my hair, I was horrified to feel that  my hair actually feels shorter and thinner than normal. Could I actually have twisted enough hair to alter my hairstyle? Additionally, I feel like my  hair is growing very slowly. I've decided I don't want thin hair, so as of yesterday I am trying my darndest to not twist my hair any more. It's been about 30 hours! Only about three months to go before I see any results (I think). Regardless, I'm sure all of you are thrilled to hear this news. We'll see how well it goes.

I did my sports lesson with my first group of third graders today. They looked pretty interested I thought, and their teacher told me the boys especially were very interested, which is good because there are a lot of boys in my school. I taught them a lot of baseball expressions, and I used Big Bang in several examples. If you look at the Big Bang Big News entry, you'll see a photo of the members. G-Dragon has made the awful decision to get a weave put in... on one side of his head. It's like a foot of hair, but awkwardly stringy and long on one side and nonexistent on the other. His hair literally sickens me, and he's supposed to be the fashionista of Big Bang. I used this opportunity to showcase my disgust. For example:

"G-Dragon really dropped the ball on his new hairstyle, but the other members of Big Bang still look great."
"G-Dragon struck out on this new hairstyle. It's disgusting!"

I talked to some of my third grade girls (not in that class) about Big Bang's new music, and they too were horrified by GD's misguided 'do. To summarize:

Me: Have you seen "Fantastic Baby?"
Girls: Yes! "Fantastic Baby" is so good!
Me: I know. I love TOP.
Girls: Yes, TOP is handsome! Ohhhh... Teacha.... Kwon Jiyong (G-Dragon's real name) hair... AAAHHIIIIGOOO! *sounds of disgust*
Me: I know! It's disgusting.
Girls: Yesssss!
Munjeong: Kwon Jiyong face is good! Hair is bad. But face is very good.

Korean girls (middle school in particular, in my opinion) go nuts for GD, who in my opinion looks exactly like a woman. A pretty woman, no less. A pretty, 110 lb woman with lots of makeup and currently, unfortunate hair. I just don't get it.

On the first day of school after introductions/rules etc, I had the kids play Family Feud as an icebreaker for their groups to get to know each other. If you're not familiar with it, Family Feud is an American TV game show in which prior to the game, 100 people are surveyed with random questions and then the answers are compiled in order of most popular. Contestants have to guess the popular answers. We just played in teams of six. Each team got a white board and dry erase marker and could write one answer. If their answer was revealed to be up there, they got the points for it (points were the number of people who said that answer). Basically, I lied and told them 100 Korean middle school students were surveyed for these answers. I had two favorite questions.

Q: Why do you go to school?
A1: To learn/study
A2: To meet friends
A3: To play sports
A4: To meet a boyfriend or girlfriend
A5: To spend time with wonderful teachers
A6: To eat delicious school lunches

Hilariously enough, a LOT of groups wrote "eat" or "eating" and thought it was hysterical that was a "real" answer. When "spend time with wonderful teachers" came up, I got called out by one class... "Nooooo Teacha you liar!"

Q: Who is the best native English teacher ever?
A1: Theresa
A2: Theresa
A3: Theresa
A4: Theresa
A5: Theresa
A6: Theresa

When the question came up, they knew it was a trick because immediately all I could hear was, "Theresa spelling!" Answers ranged from Theresa, Teresa, Thersa, Tersa, and of course "Theresa" in Korean, Teacher, you, and my favorite, "I love you <3!" The kids were pretty amused to find out I was all the answers and not just the #1.

Recent anecdotes:

Jeonghwan: Teacha, the weather is awesome today!
Me: No, YOU are awesome today for using the word awesome! High five!
(Seriously. This happened.)

*While preparing to play music for my students who clean the classroom
Me: Minseok, do you like Big Bang?
Minseok: No no no.
Me: Why?
Minseok: Big Bang is man!
Me: So?
Minseok: I am man.
Me: So...
Minseok: Man love man, no!

Me: Did you know Taeyang and G-Dragon have real tattoos? [Tattoos are not sexy in Korea... they're very "wild" and shocking to the average Korean.]
Coteacher (surprised): Really? How do you know?
Me: I read a Kpop article online and they had pictures. Taeyang has a huge cross on his side rib cage and GD has a rib cage tattoo in front and one on the side.
Coteacher (shocked): You saw their naked bodies?!!!